Cat/Badger/Possum. See also Naked Mole Rat/Possum. See also Lost Puppy/Coyote.
Tonight on our way home from dinner, I said 'oh I wonder whose cat that is' as it disappeared around the corner to my neighborhood. While thinking to myself, what a very mangy looking cat.
As we rounded the corner, I realized it may not be a cat, at which point I may or may not have started screaming 'BADGER! BADGER! I SEE A BADGER! THAT'S A BADGER!' to which I was asked 'what does a badger even look like?'
At which point I reconsidered and said 'oh that's right, we don't have badgers around here, POSSUM!!! IT'S A POSSUM!!! I KNOW IT'S A POSSUM BECAUSE ONE TRIED TO COME IN OUR HOUSE IN NEW JERSEY THROUGH THE DOG DOOR!' While also thinking that I have no idea what parts badgers are native to and that I may have made it up that we don't have them because I honestly don't know. I also may have thought, when said possum tried to come through the dog door in our New Jersey house, that it was a naked mole rat. I may also, at that time, have started screaming 'MOLE RAT, A REAL LIVE NAKED MOLE RAT IN OUR HOUSE!!!!!!!'
I blame it on the fact that I'm supposed to wear my glasses at night but don't because I have conducted a very unscientific study that has led me to the conclusion that people don't pay as much attention/are not as nice and helpful to me when I wear my glasses, as compared to when I DON'T wear my glasses.
I also use this theory to explain away the time that my friend and I, coming home one night, saw a really cute lost puppy that we tried to rescue and coax into our car until we realized that it was a coyote.
A super cute coyote, though.
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