The Missing Link

I have decided I know what this blog is missing. And that is: pictures! [And less rambling, but I will work on that later.] What good is a blog without pictures, everyone has been asking me? [No one has been asking me this out loud, but I know they are thinking it.] None! Introducing....drumroll please...NNaX! Now With More Pictures!

So good. I should go into advertising.

To kick things off, here is a picture of a few of my favorite things:

1. Number one favorite thing is Sugar Free Redbull. If my regular old life could be sponsored by Red Bull like all those pro athletes are, I would be golden. I mean, they need Red Bull energy to skate around on a piece of wood...I need Red Bull energy to make sure five children don't die when their parents aren't home. Pretty sure that's more important. Anyway, sugarfree only has ten calories and I have tried every energy drink everywhere and I just can't quit you, SFRB.

2. Another favorite thing is Real Simple. It is a magazine one might compare to Better Homes and Gardens, or maybe Martha Stewart Living. I have a secret housewife complex that drives me to read magazines like this [and grocery shop in five inch heels and bake and get super excited about a front row parking spot at Trader Joe's or the library.] I can't help it. It contains all the secrets of the universe that I will most likely almost definitely forget before I get myself into any situation in which these secrets may be applicable. My grandmother and I love this magazine.

3. Minnetonka softsole driving moccasins. Here is a mini history lesson, the reason Indians (native american kind) wore moccasins is because they didn't want to be barefoot all the time and step on bees that would sting their feet and because I think it was a lot hotter back then so probably the bottom of their feet was getting all burnt up. So they invented moccasins which didn't have real bottoms, like hard soles, to protect their feet. The reason they didn't just wear shoes or add on hard bottoms is because of how much they respect the earth and never wanted to stomp all over the flowers and grass and ruin them. Minnetonka still makes these moccasins [as well as hardsole ones if you want them] and while they are supposed to be for inside use, I wear mine all the time. I don't really care as much about stomping the ground to death as the Indians did, but I do love that story and I do love feeling like I'm not really wearing shoes, so these are one of my favorite things. Or I guess two of my favorite things, since shoes come in pairs.

4. The other favorite thing that you can't really see is: nature! I like to be outside, that might surprise some people. Especially on lovely days. I am a human, after all. This was the trail down in San Juan where I had some time just to sit and watch the horses and dogs go by and look at all the trees and plants and breathe fresh air.

Groupon, according to NNaX

[That's my self appointed acronym, if you didn't already guess.]

Groupon. By now, everyone who is everyone has heard of groupon and probably uses it. If you are no one, then you should know it is a website that gives you daily deals to stuff in your area. [Congratulations, you are now someone. You're welcome.] While I have never actually bought anything off groupon, I check it daily. Maybe it might be weird that I am writing this fan letter about it and have never actually purchased one. But... I know people who have. Because I make them. I should work for groupon; in fact, many people probably do think I work for groupon, judging by the amount of endorsements that come out of my mouth for it. It is divided into four main sections: Today's main daily deal, grouponNOW! deals, goods, and getaways.
       Once I saw a great groupon deal for a Vegas hotel. I knew my family, as well as a lot of other cheer families, needed to book a hotel for an upcoming cheer competition. I told everyone about it and presto, they booked a whole block of rooms. And then we went to vegas and stayed in them and our suite had a jacuzzi in the middle of the staircase.* And then on the last day I woke up to the sounds of someone hammering above me. And I went outside and there was a dude on the roof hammering things. At 8 a.m. Not cool. So when we got home, I complained to groupon and they gave me a 50 dollar gift card to groupon. I didn't even book the hotel under my credit card and they still gave me 50 bucks.
         Once my friend asked me a very important question that many working girls have to ask in these rough economic times: bikini wax or pedicure? What did I say? Groupon! On grouponNow deals, you can get super cheap beauty services if you go that day before a certain time. So she could totally get both. I know this because groupon once led me on an internet journey that led me to yelp which led me to this amazing nail place where you can get a spa pedicure AND manicure for 22 dollars and they never ask you questions like 'ohhh you sooo prettayy, why you no have boyfrenn?!?!' superloud in front of everyone.
         Some other super good deals I have found on here: roundtrip Catalina ferry tickets [30$], supercute mini donut maker [15$], tons of Newport boat rentals, Wine tasting in Laguna Beach with free bottle of wine to take home. They even have like plastic surgery type stuff.

*these are the things I packed to on said vegas trip. Just, you know, for reference.

*

Things I Apparently Cannot Tell The Difference Between

Cat/Badger/Possum.   See also Naked Mole Rat/Possum. See also Lost Puppy/Coyote.


Tonight on our way home from dinner, I said 'oh I wonder whose cat that is' as it disappeared  around the corner to my neighborhood. While thinking to myself, what a very mangy looking cat.

As we rounded the corner, I realized it may not be a cat, at which point I may or may not have started screaming 'BADGER! BADGER! I SEE A BADGER! THAT'S A BADGER!' to which I was asked 'what does a badger even look like?'

At which point I reconsidered and said 'oh that's right, we don't have badgers around here, POSSUM!!! IT'S A POSSUM!!! I KNOW IT'S A POSSUM BECAUSE ONE TRIED TO COME IN OUR HOUSE IN  NEW JERSEY THROUGH THE DOG DOOR!' While also thinking  that I have no idea what parts badgers are native to and that I may have made it up that we don't have them because I honestly don't know. I also may have thought, when said possum tried to come through the dog door in our New Jersey house, that  it was a naked mole rat. I may also, at that time, have started screaming 'MOLE RAT, A REAL LIVE NAKED MOLE RAT IN OUR HOUSE!!!!!!!'

I blame it on the fact that I'm supposed to wear my glasses at night but don't because I have conducted a very unscientific study that has led me to the conclusion that people don't pay as much attention/are not as nice and helpful to me when I wear my glasses,  as compared to when I DON'T wear my glasses.

I also use this theory to explain away the time that my friend and I, coming home one night, saw a really cute lost puppy that we tried to rescue and coax into our car until we realized that it was a coyote.

A super cute coyote, though.

“A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession.” 

— Albert Camus

Things that are not so good.

Sometimes there are things that are just not so good. Lots of times there are things I think will not be good [like those kind of burritos with fritos inside] but then I try them and change my mind. But there are some actual things that I just don't like.

• Wal-Mart. I really try to give this place a fair chance because they sell this kind of lip balm I have a small obsession with for like a dollar, but I just hate it there. It is crowded and people bang into you and everyone who goes here is so freaking weird and there is never any parking and I just feel all anxiousy and panicky when I try to venture inside.
• Del Taco Shrimp Tacos. There is a lot of build up to shrimp time at Del Taco. Except it is actually not very good. But, I mean, I like shrimp. And even though I know I do not like the shrimp tacos or burritos there, every time I go I order it. It's like when I start ordering, my brain falls out and even though as I'm saying can I please have a shrimp taco I know it will not be good. I don't know what it is, they are just not very good.
• The radio station 100.3. I have it programmed into my car even though I have never heard one good song that I wanted to listen to on it. Even when my haunted car mysteriously disprograms all the radio stations, I still reprogram it in even though I never, ever listen to it.
• The giant new Forever 21 at the mall. I like Forever 21 and all but this place is too big. It's very overwhelming on my senses. I have not heard of one person who likes the new one. The music is so loud and you can't get any service. It is so big that you have to spend hours inside to look at things even if you are a superfast eyeball shopper like me and so the problem is you can't call anyone to say you will be late. Or where you will meet them. Every time I go with someone else, I lose them and don't find them for thirty minutes. It also is some kind of time machine where you go in at 3pm and leave and it's dark and you've missed dinner but it feels like you weren't even there that long. Also all the shoes are hiding out on super tall racks by the mannequins and not in the shoe section and I actually can't reach up to any of those places.
• The new technology of new things. This is tricky because sometimes there is super good new technology. Such as when those one serving coffee makers came out. My parents bought me the Tassimo which was invented before the Keurig. At the time, it was like, It. Except now Kuerig is totally dominating the world and they barely make any Tassimo cups and you have to go to the ends of the earth like the Bed, Bath and Beyond down by the train tracks to even find any and then when you go, you find out that there is no more espresso things because they were exploding on people and burning their faces off, so there was a huge recall and now you have to go to Starbucks for espresso every single day. This is why it is better to wait out new technology and make sure it doesn't explode in your face and maim you. Also because buying two different hundred plus dollar coffee machines because you are too lazy to pour coffee into a filter is not super justifiable. 

bangin in my white tee

pretty sure that is from some gangster song.

Let's talk about these. You know how in movies girls can just throw on a tee from the guy's house they spent the night at so they don't have to wear the same outfit to work because of course they overslept and now are facing a possible walk of shame but worse because it's into your office? And how the shirt just fits and looks great and matches what they are wearing perfectly?

This is that shirt.

[Here's the thing though, you aren't going to find this in some dude's closet. Unless that dude is your little brother because otherwise they are going to be too big. Unless you are dating someone the same size as you and in that case, I'm sorry, how terrible for you. ]

The good news is they sell these things everywhere. And they come in three packs. Or five packs. I have tried a lot of tees in my life and these are pretty perfect. Also, super cheap. And they go with everything and the size smalls of the comfort something or other v-neck type are perfect. I know this because I convinced the lady at Target awhile back to let me open up all the bags and test the sizing and type. Also they have no tags, so there is nothing itching you on your neck. That drives me crazy.  They are also made of a super comfy material that is also kind of thinnish so it doesn't feel too boy-like of a material. Because I know they make some like that and I am not that into it. The only problem with these is the sleeves are kind of big-ish. Except I kind of like that because recently my mom told me I have no shoulders [seriously, so rude] and so I am trying to bulk up that area with some sleevage. 

The nice thing is they also come in different colors. Although I only have a hundred thousand white ones. Because they go with ev.er.y.thing. Jeans, skirts, shorts, swimsuits, pj's, I don't even know.

You can find them in the boy section of places.

movie review: Like Crazy

Where do I even start... I kind of felt like I have lived this movie. Except, you know, I'm not British, have never been married and have not yet been kicked out of the U.S. but watch this movie and you'll know what I mean. The film is about this super cute British girl, I already forget her name but she's like a foreign exchange student but like for all of college in LA. I don't really like British people or accents but she is just so cute for some reason it doesn't bother me. She kind of like seriously falls in love with her american TA from one of her classes. He falls in love back and then they have this super relatable, perfect at first, lovey love love kind of romance type thing and she wants to stay in bed and snuggle so much that she overstays her visa and gets kicked out of the country. Then they kind of break up a lot and get back together a lot and date other people in between because they are separated and they think they don't need each other maybe. At the end they kind of leave it open. I think they are like back together finally for reals but it's like probably not going to work or they will stay together even though they maybe shouldn't because so much has happened that they can't go back to how it was. The little moments of this movie, like one part where they show all these snapshots in quick succession of them sleeping through the whole summer, are super super super cute. And so are the things they say to each other. It's just like you feel the feelings they feel. Like real life. [Except in real life they probably wouldn't be together at the end.] But it isn't like really sad like 500 Days of Summer. This is the kind of movie you want to climb inside of. And that makes you fall in love with every person in it. Like the main guy isn't that cute but then all of the sudden you are kind of totally in love with him. I don't know how it happens. Plus the main girl wears all these long skirts and britishy type outfits that you can't really do if you're american but somehow she makes it work because she is english.

This might be my new favorite movie ever.
Like ever, ever.